The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I just blew my weed a kiss
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
