he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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