Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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