Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
one might say we're banned from that church
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
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