Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
