he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
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