I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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