I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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