At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
