Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
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