I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
