I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
