She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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