I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
