His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
