Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Go christen that room with your naked body.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Randomize
