I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
