It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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