I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
