i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
