i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
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