Don't you send me to vm
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
