Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
