You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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