Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
My dick has a subreddit
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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