so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
