So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
