we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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