he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
