Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
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