Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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