I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Do you still have your period?
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
