You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
