We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
