STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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