i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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