The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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