David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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