My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
