Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
