Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
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