i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Success! We fucked roommates!
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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