Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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