soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
