apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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