i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
