my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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