now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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