I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
