there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
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